Navigating the world of sex and sex toys can be challenging when you're plus-size, especially in the realms of kink and fetishism. Often, your body type isn’t represented in porn or kink imagery, and finding products that work for your body can be difficult. Some communities even suggest that certain kinks aren’t suitable for people of your size. For instance, I’ve been excited about a new strap-on harness, only to discover it only fits hips up to 42 inches – something I could never wear, even at my smallest!
The good news is that most sexual activities and kinks are entirely possible for people with bigger bodies. With a little creativity and understanding of your body’s needs, you can enjoy these experiences just as much as anyone else. However, since larger bodies aren’t as commonly discussed or represented in porn, you may need to experiment to find what works best for you. Here, we’ll explore pegging for plus-size individuals. While it has its unique challenges, it’s full of potential for pleasure, regardless of your size.
Pegging When You’re Plus-Size
Pegging is an activity that, like certain yoga poses, may require adjustments for comfort. You might need to seek out specialized harnesses and spend extra time finding the right pegging positions that work for you and your partner. While advice for other kinks might be covered elsewhere, here are some tips for enjoying pegging when you or your partner (or both!) are plus-size.
1. Use Sex Furniture and Props
Sex furniture and props can significantly enhance accessibility and comfort for larger bodies. Elevating the hips in missionary position can help with access to the genitals by moving the stomach out of the way. If the receptive partner struggles with supporting their weight in doggy-style, a piece of sex furniture can provide much-needed support. Even improvising with firm pillows can help, but sex-specific props designed to support body weight may be a worthwhile investment, offering stability and comfort that regular pillows can’t.
2. Consider Sex Position Aids
Sex position aids can make a huge difference in your pegging experience. For instance, a sex stool can alleviate pressure on the top partner’s knees, or a behind-the-neck sex sling can help the receptive partner keep their legs elevated during missionary. If the penetrating partner struggles with leverage during doggy-style, a support sling can help. Don’t hesitate to use these tools to enhance comfort and focus on pleasure rather than discomfort.
3. Opt for a Longer Dildo
If you find that most "average-sized" dildos look small against your body due to a larger stomach or thighs, consider using a longer dildo. Larger bodies may reduce the effective length of the toy, as your body may prevent it from being fully inserted to the base. A longer dildo can help avoid slippage and make penetration smoother, ensuring a more satisfying experience.
4. Research Plus-Size Sex Positions
Finding sex positions specifically designed for plus-size bodies can make a big difference in comfort and enjoyment. Even if you don’t find positions tailored for anal sex, those designed for plus-size couples can inspire new ways to fit your bodies together more comfortably.
5. Be Honest About Your Limitations
There’s no need to force yourself into positions or activities that cause discomfort or pain. Be upfront with your partner about what works for you and what doesn’t. If a position like doggy-style hurts your knees, suggest an alternative. If supporting your weight in a certain position is challenging, try switching roles or modifying the position. There are plenty of options, so focus on finding what feels best for your body.
6. Switch Off as the Active Partner
If maintaining a high level of activity isn’t feasible for the entire session, take turns being the active partner. The receptive partner can ride on top or even control the pace by “fucking” themselves on your dildo while you remain stationary. If it fits your dynamic, you can add an extra layer of excitement by using a collar and leash to "encourage" them to take the lead.
7. Explore Customizable Harnesses
If off-the-shelf harnesses don’t fit your body well, consider investing in a custom-made strap-on harness. Many artisans on platforms like Etsy can create harnesses tailored to your measurements. While these may be pricier than mass-produced options, they’ll provide a better fit, boosting your confidence and enhancing your experience.
8. Try a Rope-Tied Strap-On Harness
If a custom harness is out of your budget, consider using bondage rope to create a DIY strap-on harness. There are plenty of tutorials online that show how to tie a secure harness with rope, allowing you to customize the fit. This option is affordable and adaptable to any size, though it does require re-tying each time you want to play.
9. Look Into Non-Hip Harnesses
If traditional hip-bound harnesses feel uncomfortable, explore alternative designs. Thigh strap-on harnesses allow your partner to ride your thigh while you relax. Chest strap-on harnesses or harnesses that sit higher on the abdomen may provide better access and comfort. Don’t feel restricted to hip harnesses – there are many other options to consider.
10. Check Out Plus-Size “Straight” Sex Tips
Since pegging is essentially anal sex with reversed gender roles, many tips for plus-size heterosexual intercourse and anal sex can be applied to pegging. These guides often include a variety of positions and suggestions to enhance the experience for both partners. Don’t limit yourself to one resource – there’s a wealth of information out there to make your pegging sessions even more enjoyable!