Whether you're just starting out or have been exploring BDSM for years, the key to keeping things exciting is continuous exploration. Ready to try something new at home? Here are five thrilling BDSM ideas to spice up your playtime.
1. Under-the-Desk Humiliation As a switch, I enjoy both dominating and submitting, and this scene is a favorite when I'm feeling dominant. Picture this: I'm working at my desk, completely ignoring my partner, who is tasked with providing oral pleasure the entire time. I don't acknowledge them, not even with a moan, which heightens the tension and anticipation. For me, the restraint from showing pleasure builds it up inside, creating an intense experience by the time I finally let go.
Polyamorous Twist: Call another partner and engage in dirty talk while your in-room partner continues their task, heightening the erotic tension.
2. Orgasm Denial, X2 Style Orgasm denial is a classic BDSM practice, and I like to elevate it with the X2 Orgasmatron. This toy is as powerful as a high-end sex machine but small enough to hold like a Magic Wand. Start by holding the X2 against your partner on low. Just as they’re about to climax, pull it away and let their arousal subside before starting again. Slowly increase the speed, challenging them not to cum. The X2’s power makes this incredibly difficult, but if they succeed, it’s a true accomplishment!
Pro Tip: Consider using a ball gag to muffle their moans, but always watch for any signals that they need to stop.
3. Nipple Clamp Conversation Starter Nipple clamps are a versatile tool, perfect for both beginners and advanced players. Adjustable clamps allow you to start with mild pressure and gradually increase the intensity. Once, at a swingers club, my partner and I were approached by another couple who introduced us to tweezer-style nipple clamps. What started as a casual conversation quickly turned into a shared kinky experience, leading to more intimate play downstairs. Nipple clamps can easily transition a conversation into something much more.
4. DIY BDSM for the Tech-Savvy For those who love to mix tech with pleasure, the Master Beta Kit is a must-try. This DIY kit teaches you how to program custom vibration patterns for a vibrator using the Arduino platform. My partner and I built it together on a recent date, and the process was surprisingly sexy. After assembling the vibe, he blindfolded me and controlled the intensity, making for an unforgettable experience. If you’re tech-inclined, this kit can add a whole new dimension to your BDSM play.
5. BDSM Phone Sex When you’re apart from your partner, BDSM phone sex can be an intense way to stay connected. Start with dirty talk and let the tension build. If you’re the Dominant, instruct your partner to delay their orgasm until after you’ve finished. The twist? As soon as you climax, hang up the phone abruptly. This unexpected end leaves my partner longing and me smiling at the thought of their frustration.
These ideas are just a starting point—BDSM is all about creativity and pushing boundaries. Whether you’re new to the scene or a seasoned pro, these suggestions can add some fresh excitement to your play.